Today is a milestone.
100 Days ago I started PA school and today I finished my first PA school class! That’s right, I survived the first 100 days AND made it through my first semester of Pharmacology already!
While October was a really hard month, November has flown by. I absolutely can’t wrap my mind around the fact that tomorrow is December already. The days still seem long, but the weeks are flying by. We have 7 more exams in the next 2 weeks and then we’re home free for exactly a month, how crazy is that?
And now that I am all settled into my routine here, I actually kind of love school and my life here. Exams don’t scare me anymore, the massive amount of information thrown at me daily is easier to absorb, and I use my extra time much more efficiently. Going to bed at 11p every night now has made me such a happier person, and surprisingly, I’m still getting everything done that I need to, and sometimes more. It took me 100 days to learn how to completely revamp my studying style and realize quality is more than quantity. I KNOW (thanks to experience) that I CAN cram a weeks worth of exam material into my head in 24 hours. Yes, my brain synapses form faster than ever now, and sometimes I swear I can feel them forming. I have free time now, I’ve figured out how to get myself around Indy, I’ve had dinner and coffee with good friends and don’t feel anxious that I should be studying. I’ve let go of absolutely HAVING to get an A on every exam, and that is the biggest weight off my shoulders yet! I still have my moments where I get overwhelmed by the amount of work or the stress of the process, but those moments are less and less.
I know it sounds crazy, but I think I may be happier than I have ever been. Earlier this year, I really struggled with the whole “grass is greener on the other side” version of I wish I was in the real world with a real job and a fiance like so many of my friends and not wasting my life in school. And while a part of me will always wish that until it happens, I find myself extremely content where I am right here, right now. I now fully trust that THIS is where God wants me and that makes me so much more happy.
I love Butler. I love Indy. I love what I am learning. Tuesday night we walked to a Butler basketball game, got in free with our student IDs, and sat 3 rows off the court. Thursday, I figured out how to get myself to my dermatologist on the north side, how to get to a hospital to have my blood drawn (a gorgeous hospital that I would love to work at too, I might add), and how to get home without using the congested interstate. THESE are the moments that help me realize I’m growing so much by myself here! I’m braver than I have ever been, and more willing to try new things and break my routine and that makes me realize that this phase of my life is right on time. I have the rest of my life to be settled down with a husband and kids working the same job every day of my life (and no matter how bad I want that right now, I’m thankful for this time period to learn to be ME before I get there).
In some ways I feel years older than I did in August when this whole adventure began. I know so many of my relationships have been strengthened, I’ve grown so much, and many of my priorities are much different now (I now look forward to Fridays because it means I get to go to bed early—-who would have thought)! I miss Purdue and Monticello less and less each day, but lean on my friends from both of those places more and more. If you would have told me that I would feel this way after just 100 days, I wouldn’t have believed you. I guess that’s just how life works!